valerie-in-mid-life

The End of an Era

2012-01-01T15:59:00.003-05:00

I have set up a new blog - Valerie-in-Midlife 2.0. Click here or on the bar on the side to access it.

2011 marked a turning point in my life and in the lives of the people I love and write about. I wanted to acknowledge that change.

I published 149 valerie-in-midlife posts starting in January 2008. Blogger (the blog publisher) keeps track of audience stats and has counted over 10,000 pageviews of this site. In addition to my Canadian "fans", it identified readers from the U.S., South Korea, China, Germany, Qatar, Denmark, Slovenia, France and Australia.

I have loved using this site as the tool for keeping close family and friends up-to-date on the goings-on of our wacky and wonderful life. It has also been a therapeutic and creative outlet for me. The 2.0 version will continue to do just that. I'm going to be playing around with the format of the new blog (and probably the title), but I don't have plans to change the content or publish any more regularly.

One thing that hasn't changed - I am consistently inconsistent!

Thank you for support, comments and patience.

It's beginning to look a bit like Christmas

2011-12-08T06:59:00.001-05:00

We managed to string some lights in our tree outside. It looks great from all sides - except for the front. If it ever stops raining, I will add one more string to the bare spot.

We are slowly unpacking our ornaments and decorations. And trying to figure out where to put a tree in our little place. I have a 7' artificial tree packed away in the basement, that will probably stay put. We might head out this weekend for a real tree. A real small tree.

In the meantime, the girls are getting into the spirit of Christmas listening to the new Glee and Justin Bieber Christmas CD's and decorating cookies.

Hockey and events in between

2011-10-16T22:28:00.001-04:00

September 14 - Celebrating our journey (as the last place team) to the Playoff Finals. Hard to believe that this was taken after losing best of three in two games straight.

September 23, 24, 25 - Oshawa Tournament
Leah scores the first goal of the tournament. The girls make it to the finals - Silver medalists.

September 30 Baseball Banquet - You've heard this before: "Do we ever clean up good!"

With one of my besties - Marilyn Hook

October 1 - Family get-together

October 7 - United Way Charity Campaign Launch at work. 80 colleagues enjoy home-made waffles. I'm the one slouching against the wall, sipping a coffee, on the far right.

Ah, Julie! My ever so wonderful colleague (and waffle maker extraordinaire)

October 6, 7, 8 - Oakville Tournament

Silver medal again.

October 9 & 10

From the arena we head to Joyce and Larry's. Time stands still.

Leah is the only kid but manages to have fun. Aunt Marilee teaches her how to play poker, we play washers and try our hand at beach badminton. And visit with some goats and chickens

October 16 - The day after an unfortunate accident between my car and a tree. No other physical damage except someone's ego.

Calm descends once again. The dinner that was started Saturday afternoon (and packed away after the turmoil), finally gets cooked and is enjoyed Sunday afternoon. The girls settle into browsing the web and doing homework...

But first - we gather on the porch for a portrait (driving Andrew crazy in the process).
All is good with the world.

Forwarding address

2011-09-22T07:50:00.000-04:00

Effective immediately:
You will now find me in a hockey arena 4 times a week from now until March.

In the rare chance that you will see me during that time, be prepared to hear pleas for sponsorships, requests to purchase everything from meat to bracelets and the occasional begging to fill in as driver/cook/cleaner or psychiatrist.

See you in the spring!

More NYC

2011-09-06T21:33:00.000-04:00

As I mentioned - the best part of the trip was watching the interplay between mom and Carson. Neither one had been to NYC before and I was thrilled to be able to show them around and discover new areas with them. More than once, I felt like the personal tour guide to two long-lost bff's, eager to explore the big city.

My favourite memories are of the two of them giggling uncontrollably in the bathroom as Carson shaped mom's eyebrows and applied eye makeup.

Mom was such a good sport - the first night we dragged her out at 9:00 p.m. to go for dinner. There were no attempts at Seniors Early-bird specials a la Florida for us. When in New York, we dine as New Yorkers. Here we are at Tony's Di Napoli in Times Square, feasting on pasta at 9:40 p.m.

Carson made quite an impression on the fellow pedestrians in Times Square that night. As mom and I took pictures of her taking in the lights and sights of that vibrant part of the city, many people stopped and stared and tried to figure out if she was a celebrity.

The three of us never managed to coordinate our dress codes. The nights Carson and I dressed up, mom wanted nothing more to wear whatever went with her comfy sneakers. For some strange reason, the night we headed to the Empire State Building, mom decided that she would dress up and wear her good sandals. That was because I assured her that we wouldn't be doing a lot of walking.

Me bad.

We didn't walk a lot, but we sure did wait in line for a long time. Thankfully that was the night out when Carson and I chose to wear flat comfy shoes. By the time we hit the obligatory gift shop at the end of the tour, mom had to get out of her shoes. So there we were, just outside the gift shop, all switching shoes. I put on mom's GRANNY SHOES, Carson donned my red flats, and mom ever-so-thankfully, slipped on Carson's flip-flops. Giggling the whole time.

Dining out is fun, but after a while, even the best meals leave something to be desired. Carson and I were out for a late dinner the second night at Serafina, not far from our hotel. We decided that a salad was our best bet and enjoyed it and the ambiance. However, I have to say that the salad I made tonight was just as good.

Of course, it is the company that makes the meal, makes the trip, makes a life.

Every trip I have taken to NYC has been with some wonderful women. My fourth visit to NYC was the best yet.

Big fun in the Big Apple

2011-09-04T11:14:00.000-04:00

This trip exceeded all my expectations. Four days in New York City with mom and Carson was a whirlwind of fun, adventure and just plain silliness. Watching the camaraderie between mom and Carson was the best part of the trip.

Checking out the 3D games in the Nintendo Store

Taking in the splendor of St. Patrick's Cathedral

Eagerly anticipating a sample of store-made mozzarella and proscuitto

Calculating tips

Taking time for breakfast before trekking to Hoboken, NJ

Fitting in with the locals at the train station

Practicing toasts while waiting for drinks

Prepping "G'ma" for a night out on the town

Taking in the view from the Empire State Building

Thanks New York. We will be back

Birthday Girl

2011-08-21T17:56:00.000-04:00

20 years of (mostly) joy

Aged to perfection

Happy Birthday Carson!

New place, new ways of doing things

2011-07-26T19:25:00.004-04:00

We are slowing finding room for all our stuff. Still unpacked are several boxes of photo albums and several boxes of books and cookbooks and cooking magazines. And a few containers of toiletries. Honestly - why do we think we need all that stuff?

And I have yet to find - uh, an official government document that should be reported missing as soon as it is known to be missing - my headphones (ugh, I can't block out my fellow GO train commuters with my iPod), Ev's 12 pack minus 1 package of contacts, the charger for the cordless vac, and a few other things. Hopefully this weekend we will have everything unpacked and accounted for.

There are a few benefits from downsizing to 1500 sq ft from a 3400 sq ft home and equivalent yard - I can't wipe the smile off my face as I roll the push mower over the lawn. I love the sound the blades make as they cut the grass. The tiny patches of grass in the front and back take a dozen or so swipes - et voila - that job is done. What is taking more time is watering those little lawns. I'm down to taking 5 minutes adjusting the water pressure so that all the neighbours, their cars and adjoining lawns don't get sprayed. The first time I tried to water the lawn, I spent at least 15 minutes going back and forth from the tap to the sprinkler, changing the pressure and the direction of the spray. I think the typical oscillating water sprinkler is meant for big lawns. I'm going to look into a different style of sprinkler, one more suitable to watering 30 sq feet of grass - they should be going on sale any time now.

Being in such close proximity to our neighbours has been mostly positive. And a source of humour for me today. Evann proudly reported this afternoon that she rinsed out all the recycling and compost bins that were put out at the curb this morning. Because of our shared driveway and limited curb real estate, our neighbours place their garbage in front of our place with ours. Ev wasn't very happy when she found out how wonderfully neighbourly she was, having washed out their smelly garbage bins as well.

The big girls seem to be settling in - though they are frustrated with the time it is taking me to figure out how to set up the new wireless internet connection...having to plug their laptops directly into the modem that is under the basement stairs is only temporary, I assure them.

Leah has only spent two days at the new place - as soon as she returned from New Brunswick, she was whisked away to the cottage where she has been having a blast with her cousins; beating them at War and learning how to ski on the wakeboard. If she had her way, she would split her summer vacation time between the two places - cottage and New Brunswick.

More changes tomorrow as Rob takes possession of his new place.

I wonder if he needs any toiletries?

It takes a village...

2011-07-15T21:33:00.001-04:00

...to move me into our new place. Chief amongst those villagers are Carol, Paula and Brent. They kept me focussed (never an easy job) and propped me up when this whole transition seemed physically and emotionally overwhelming.
Friends and family have been sending good wishes and another favourite friend arrived Saturday afternoon for a visit. Marilyn and I sat caught up on the front porch and were eventually joined by Carol and Paula. Impromtu dinner plans were made and within an hour or so, we had prepared two pounds of delectable and garlicky mussels. Perfectly accompanied by Paula's bocconcini and tomato salad and lots of fresh bread. And a few splashes of wine.

I'm so glad we had that fun time - the next few days were hectic - preparing for the movers, moving and now finding a place for everything.

Cousin Brent has been spent most of his vacation here, putting together furniture. A desk, tv console, and two beds. Here is Leah's room - before and after assembly

Right now Brent is hooking up the tv/dvd player to a small surround sound system. I've got boxes open and stuff scattered on all three floor. Plus a whole lot of cardboard to break down.

We have plans to get out to the downtown Midnight Madness event tonight - we might just be able to tear ourselves away before midnight.

Or maybe Brent will be able to hook up the "entertainment system" and we will just veg here.

Two more days til the girls return from their travels. Lots to do.

Doo, doo, doo, lookin' out my front door

2011-07-06T08:27:00.000-04:00

Out and about

2011-06-21T09:02:00.001-04:00

In between purging and packing (not enough of the former and too much of the latter), we have been:

Downtown to see Glee,

enjoyed a fabulous post-show dinner (thank you Andrew)

and watched the world go by

I spent a day at Leah's track and field meet (and I'm watching her compete at another one today)

Acted as MC for an all-staff meeting held at the Bell Lightbox (if you love movies, you have to go there)

Father's Day brunch was a lot of fun

And the past two days, had a blast with Carol to and fro and at the cottage

Today I am basking in the abundance of family and friends.

Happy first day of summer!

59. And a half.

2011-06-14T21:05:00.001-04:00

I am planning to take Carson to New York City later this summer in celebration of her 20th birthday. As soon as I had confirmed travel dates, I started imagining where Evann and I would go for her 20th (hint: Eiffel Tower). Giddy with excitement, I shared these plans with Leah the next morning as we were getting ready for work/school.

"Oh Leah. Imagine when you are 20 and we are planning a trip to anywhere in the world. Won't that be great?" I enthused.

She didn't seem to share in my excitement.

With a perplexed look on her face, she asked "How OLD are you going to be then?"

Sigh...

Beginner's Test

2011-06-10T00:05:00.005-04:00

"Well, if I have to walk home from the GO station, at least it's a beautiful evening. And a half hour walk is good exercise. If I ever get to live in Toronto, maybe I will be walking a half hour home from work every day. This is good."

Rob and his folks are in the city for a family function, and Carson has my car. This isn't the first time I haven't had a ride home and it definitely isn't going to be the last. We are now just days until our new lives officially begin. New homes, new labels. Single mom. The kids will still have their support group. Mine will be significantly diminished.

7:40 p.m. Five minutes from home I receive a text from Evann. She's volunteering at a school carnival in the next neighbourhood and needs money and a sweater. I tell her that I'm almost home and will bike over with her stuff. "A little more exercise!" I tell myself.

I'm starving. In the house, a quick hug to Leah, a greeting to her friend, change, grab a square of dark chocolate, hop on my bike and I'm off. I also managed to scrounge a handful of change - hoping I have enough for Evann to buy one of the bbq offerings. Curse these school events - just about the only place that doesn't accept debit cards.

8:15 I find Evann outside at the back of the school working at the freezie stand - freezing and hungry. She gets permission to take a break and we head for the cafeteria. Hooray, the food is marked down. We can get a hamburger or hotdog and a drink for $3.00. Ev counts the change. I had managed to scrape together $6.25. Yippee! We can both dine at the school tonight!

We park ourselves outside on a baseball bench, wolf down our burgers and take a few minutes to catch up. Ev has to help out til 9 so I bike around the neighbourhood until she is done. I really don't want to walk all the way home so I make Ev ride with me. She is seated and I am pedaling upright. It takes a bit of adjusting to keep her legs from tangling in mine and in the pedals. We laugh as we picture how we must look - thinking of those images from somewhere in the far east of families of 8 or so all piled on one bicycle. Ev is a great sport. She is both mortified (that someone she knows will see her) and terrified (I'm a bit wobbly riding this way), but hangs on tight and laughs along with me. We manage to ride together most of the way home.

As we near our house I see my car in the driveway. "How long has Carson been home? Don't tell me we could have got her to pick us up." Ev finally clues in that my walk home from the train and my bike ride were not whims of fancy. They were a necessity.

I remain positive, thinking "Ah well, it was a fun bonding experience and a great workout. One car, one parent and three busy kids. We will be able to make this work."

I am greeted at the door by a panicked Carson. Her toilet won't flush. Only a few days ago I was thinking about all the little home maintenance jobs that I felt I would be able to handle on my own once I'm in my new place. "I think I'm going to warn the landlord that he better be prepared to help out with any clogged toilets. That's about the only thing I don't want to deal with."

It didn't take long for me to become agitated - especially after finding out that it has been clogged for two days. Two days that Opa or Rob could have fixed the problem. At first I told her she was on her own - but then I gave my head a shake and rose to the occasion.

And we did it! That's about all the details I need to share about THAT bonding experience.

Back downstairs to check in with Leah, fold some laundry and finally at 9:50 I sat down, thinking "That felt like a test."

I think I passed.

Kyran stayed here, Evann went there, Leah's arms were everywhere

2011-06-01T00:30:00.004-04:00

Kyran's whirlwind tour into Toronto packed a heck of a lot of people and fun into 72 hours:
Reading at Harbourfront

If you look closely, you should be able to see Stuart McLean in the audience - really!

After the reading, nine of us headed a few blocks over to a condo I had "borrowed" for the evening. Driving rain swept away our umbrellas and within minutes we were soaked.

We dried ourselves off as best we could and spent the next few hours drinking wine, laughing and sharing stories about our lives.

The next day, Kyran was escorted around town for some interviews. I had my own special day that afternoon at the Elgin Winter Garden Theatre where I joined my Vancouver Olympic Ontario House team to receive the highest award given within the Ontario Public Service - the Amethyst Award.

I had to pass on joining the team for dinner to race to pick up Kyran and meet some of the family at home (that was Plan C...). It was great to have Kyran to ourselves for a few hours.

(Aunt Joyce - one of those books is yours, but somehow it has disappeared. You will get it soon, I promise!)

Later that evening, Carson had a few friends over. It was fun to see the expressions on their faces when they saw the books, the author picture on the dust cover and made the connection with the woman sitting next to them...

In a blink of an eye, she was headed back home. I was thrilled the next morning to see her book quoted in an article (about Target) on the front page of National Post. A feature article about her and the book will be published in the Post any day now.

Life returned to whatever passes for normal around here these days. Then yesterday I saw that one of our favourite GLEE characters was in town - and was available to meet and greet the first 300 people who bought his CD at the Eaton Center store. Within minutes I got confirmation that Evann and Carson would love to have that opportunity. On my lunch break I went down to the record store (are they still called that?) and bought some CD's.

The girls made it downtown - with only a bit of teenage angst and time-mismanagement - and got in line to meet Mr. Schuester aka Matthew Morrison.

Ev said that he was really sweet. When it was her turn to meet him, he stuck out his hand and said, "Hi, I'm Matt".

After that excitement, we made our way to Queen Street for sushi and shopping.

And tonight, out at Leah's basketball tournament. This was the third tournament of the season but the first time Leah was off the injured list and on the court. The girls made it into the finals - again. I only arrived in time for the last game, but what a game to watch. The girls won 19-7. Leah and her friend Chantel scored most of the points. About halfway through the game, Leah got 4 successive baskets - all within in few minutes. I had my new crappy camera with me and could not get a good action shot.

Or maybe she is just too fast

The crowd of parents had a good laugh watching Leah press the other team - she was a giant wall. A happy giant wall.

So proud! So glad Carson and Andrew were there too.

We celebrated with some ice cream.

A few more busy days ahead.

Mother's Day

2011-05-09T22:42:00.001-04:00

Finally a beautiful sunny and warm weekend.
The usual busy one as well.
Sunday was filled with lots of fun.

In the morning we met mom and dad and Adam and Yvonne and kids at the Royal Botanical Gardens. We had hoped to walk through the rock garden but seems us early birds were an hour too early to enter the grounds. Instead we enjoyed a walk along the marsh.

We were surrounded by a symphony of nature sounds - the frogs and birds were chirping non-stop. I was surprised when I heard something moving through the grass. A snake? Yes.

And what did Evann and Leah find the most fascinating?

On our way to brunch, we stopped in at the cemetery to pay our respects to Gramma and Grampa Hammond and Uncle Dennis.

The setting is breathtaking and it stimulated an interesting discussion with Evann on cremation vs burial. I love walking through cemeteries and it seems that the girls found it more fun than they expected. Especially when they found Snape and Potter headstones a few feet from the other.

Brunch at a local restaurant was delicious. Avry and Sydney kept us entertained.

Home to do a bit of laundry and hang it outside. Evann and I raced out the door when we received an invite to take a spin in Brigid's convertible. Five girls piled in and we cruised downtown Oakville.

And just hung around the car a bit...

We did manage to tear ourselves away from the car and take in the busy little downtown and its ice cream stores and bakeries.

My oh my, that was a fun way to cap off a lovely Mother's Day.

City girls

2011-05-05T22:45:00.003-04:00

A few weekends ago, Leah and I spent time in the big city.

We went to the preview of Hoodwinked 2

Took in some art at the AGO

And enjoyed ice cream a la Henry Moore

On our way to the AGO, we stopped into a little clothing shop that I used to frequent when I worked on University Avenue. The owners, Gina and Marcia, would greet me by name and get me to try on (and buy) all kinds of outfits that I normally wouldn't consider wearing. "Val", Gina enthused, "this would look great on you!" Yes their job was to sell, but they also steered me clear of certain styles and colours. Any time I reach for a boxy jacket, I can hear Marcia matter-of-factly state "Val, that is not a flattering look for you." I still wear just about everything I have bought from that place the past ten years. And while I would not call most of the pieces classics, they certainly have stood the test of the fashion trends of the last decade.

Over the years, the girls (Gina and Marcia) have heard about my girls so I thought it would be nice to drop in at the store and introduce them to Leah. Gina was on her own that day, and immediately told Leah how much fun she had dressing me - I felt like she was talking about Barbie. Gina then proceeded to go through the store and find a dozen things for me to try on. Not exactly what I had in mind, but with Leah's blessing, we held an impromptu fashion show. Leah laughed along with us and seemed to enjoy the banter between me and Gina. I kept waiting for Leah to get bored and politely ask when we could leave, but instead, she sat and gave the thumbs up or down on the various dresses and outfits Gina threw at me. In the end, I didn't buy anything. Gina knows that I will be back.

I keep wondering what it was that had Leah grinning ear-to-ear in the store that day. She seemed so happy to see me having fun.

I guess it is called retail therapy for good reason.

It's here!!!

2011-05-04T00:07:00.002-04:00

I want to run up and down the street shouting "It's here, it's here! It's finally here!"

Instead I will:

show you my copy,

this picture of Ev who grabbed the book out of the carton as soon as I ripped it open,

and quickly log off, get ready for bed and crack open

COUSIN KYRAN'S BOOK!!!

Uh oh, I think that I am going to cry...

A much better weekend thank-you-very-much

2011-05-02T12:38:00.002-04:00

Opa made his triumphant return home on Friday. We celebrated with beer and pizza. Already today he looks (and sounds) considerably healthier and happier.

Ev reports that her toe feels fine. We made a good call leaving the wheelchair at the hospital last week:

We took a break from house showings this weekend. It didn't take long for the place to look cluttered. Tomorrow we are back to a pristine home to showcase to prospective buyers. (We had an offer on the place this weekend, but could not find agreement on a selling price. We will wait it out until we get what we want. We are buoyed by the recent listing of another home on this street - for way more than what we are asking.)

Saturday night I ventured out to the King Eddy hotel to attend an engagement party for a colleague. It was a beautiful and busy night in the city. It took me 15 minutes to find a parking spot - the city and bars were packed with UFC fans.

My friend and colleague Alexandra is grace personified. She is smart, fun and wiser than her years. She's also the youngest of three daughters and hence a great advisor as I try to do my mom thing without inflicting years of future psychotherapy sessions on my girls.

The ballroom was full of people thrilled to be celebrating Aly and Mike's engagement. I had a great time putting together the faces to the people in the stories Aly shared about her family and friends. All good - really! The oyster bar sommelier - or whatever those guys are called - walked us through the oyster selections. I tried not to overstay my welcome at that table.

I found a nice couple to chat with and if all goes well, Aly and I will be joining them at some fun, hip bar in Parkdale some Friday night in May. They assured me that there would be people "my age" there. I don't think they were patronizing me....

Here I am with Aly earlier in the evening:

Sunday up bright and early. A run to the airport, then up to Mt. Forest via Hamilton. I dropped off Loretta at her aunt's, then spent a few hours with my other step-mom, Marie. It's been four years since Dad died and it has been a difficult time for Marie to figure out how to live her life without Dad. She is ready to move out of the home they shared and asked me to come up and go through some of Dad's things. I asked if I could have some of his tools - they will be good to have when I'm on my own. There are some pictures and some old certificates and deeds that will be fun to go through with Dwayne some day. Dad always had a pocketknife on him, and we now have a very old one of his. There are a lot of his hats - Dwayne will get them all but the Yankees cap. I needed a new one for ball this year, and this one will work well. Cuff links and tie pins and clips. A straight razor and a travel bar kit.

There are a few things from his mom - his biological mom. He was raised by his grandparents. Another story for another time.

They are things. They tell a bit of a story. But there are two items that I look forward to using that will connect me to Dad every time. One is a big blue leather rocker/recliner chair. The chair has seen better days - the leather on the arms is worn thin. But it is cosy and comfy and it feels like I am being hugged when I sit in it. Dad would nap in that chair. The day he died, Marie said that they had lunch together and then Dad went downstairs to have a quick nap before he had to head back to work. He wasn't out of the house more than 10 minutes before he suffered a fatal heart attack.

I also have his slippers. They would be parked beside his desk when he wasn't wearing them. The last few years Dad played the stock market. He had a complicated formula that he felt would some day make him rich. My most recent memories of him are sitting at the desk in front of the computer, slippers on, explaining how he bought and sold his shares. I don't think he ever made any money. But he did have a lot of fun trying to outwit "the system".

He is gone, but will never be forgotten.

Pix from Good Friday Hike

2011-04-26T21:52:00.002-04:00

Our last hike from Leigh and Enid's beautiful home on the escarpment. They are movin' on up to the east side (of Hamilton).

We had a great turnout.

Lots of kids.

Lots of mud.

Lots of hogging of baby Sydney by cousin Rochelle.

============================================

Last night at dinner, we were talking about the tradition of eating fish on Good Friday. Leah was pleased to point out our tradition of eating hot dogs every Good Friday.

On the bright side...

2011-04-25T23:31:00.001-04:00

Evann seems to be able to walk around on her broken toe without too much discomfort.
Whoever stole my purse was thoughtful enough to leave my driver's license and health card in my wallet before tossing it on the side of a trail by the high school.
One credit card borrowed and returned by Carson hadn't made its way back into my wallet and was safely tucked away in my desk.
Apparently $1,800 to replace my bumper and headlight is a good deal. And I can use my air miles card to collect lots of points. (Once I get it replaced.)
No one was hurt. Physically.
Bruises to the ego build character.
I was reminded yet again that my intuition is really good. I just need to act on it more quickly and forcefully.
I have an amazing family. Some day we will look back and laugh at the Easter weekend from, uh, not heaven.

Taking stock

2011-04-20T22:11:00.007-04:00

One of my loyal readers (whom I love sooooo much) thinks I need to slow down and take up knitting. Well, she admitted that she couldn't see me knitting, with a cat in my lap, but thought that I should slow down.

On the stress scale, any one of half dozen issues we are dealing with right now would have a huge impact on one's physical and emotional health. Yes, sometimes I feel like I am smothering under a heavy blanket of uncertainty. But I really feel that, except for the occasional times I freeze, or "act out", I have a pretty good handle on things and have learned to not sweat the small stuff. (Or maybe only sweat the small stuff!)

This is largely due to the HUMONGOUS support network of family and friends that I can lean on - starting with the amazing group living under this roof. I have learned that it is OK to ask for help. I am healthy. I have a beautiful and loving nuclear and extended family. I have the best girlfriends that any gal could ask for. And some pretty awesome guy friends. My amazing colleagues are the reason I enjoy going into work each day.

I have a great (and affordable) hairdresser.
Baseball season is starting.
Flowers are growing in my garden.
My car starts every time I turn the ignition.
I have a place to lay my head at night.
Cousin Kyran will be in town soon to read from her new book at the author's festival.
Carson is starting to cook and is impressing us with her fabulous meals.
Evann and I hardly ever mix up each other's Invisalign braces anymore. Yeah, gross!
Leah still hugs me when I come from work every night.
Larry will find a way to get us crazy cousins to the airport one night to get away for a mystery weekend - "You just need a passport and a credit card."
My house has been clean and tidy EVERY DAY FOR THE PAST TWO MONTHS.
Biking weather is almost here.
I am loved. And liked.

Gratitude and perspective go a long way in helping me cope with my topsy-turvy, teeter-totter, whirlwind life.

The knitting will just have to wait.

Topsy-turvy teeter-totter whirlwind week

2011-04-17T23:02:00.005-04:00

Tuesday

lost wallet and passport (not mine - ahem!)
found wallet and passport (thank you honest cabbie)
25 minutes to get to connecting flight (Terminal D to Terminal B)
connecting flight cancelled
scotch

Wednesday

home sweet home

Thursday

work email backlog cleared
email: Chris is gone. Another member of our baseball community dies of cancer.
Minister's briefing not cancelled
phone call while walking to Minister's briefing: Opa's in the hospital

Friday

great performance review
Opa hasn't stabilized
4:11 p.m. rush request for information by end of day
5:34 train leaves without me
7:15 meet cousins in Hamilton for dinner
7:15 - 1:00 laughter, silliness and love that soothes my soul

Saturday

Omi reports that Opa had a bad night
still cleaning the house when the first group arrives a half hour early for the house showing
afternoon plans shelved when reminded about baseball draft that afternoon
reunite with the GALS and meet my new team
dinner plans awry
evening out cancelled at last minute
two attempts at picking up a daughter from work expend too much gas, energy, emotions and spoil a meal
Ev & girlfriend keep Leah company while I go to bed early

Sunday

lemon squares baked and ready for bridal shower
tomato sauce prepped and ready to reheat for dinner and load of laundry done
Avry has time in her schedule to travel with us to Caledonia for the shower
two attempts at wrapping 3 sided box expend too much energy and paper
new reusable shopping bag makes a perfect gift bag
Leah is finally convinced her outfit is fine
Gramma advised we are running late
whiteout conditions on highway
severe winds on Skyway bridge only feel like strong winds
hugs to and from Gramma and Grampa after two long months away
shower isn't at 1:00, but 2:00!
we aren't late, we're early?!?
tea break
hail, snow, rain on the next leg of the drive
meet the bride-to-be and catch up with family
Mom, Aunt Mary and cousin Janice delivered safely back home
cuddles and kisses to a cooing baby Sydney when Avry was dropped off home
time stops as Leah and I visit Opa in the hospital for the first time
tears and hugs (and fears that maybe Leah shouldn't have seen Opa so sick?)
tears and a sprinkle donut on the ride home from the hospital
dinner and fun conversation with Ev and Leah
main floor vacuumed and washed
Rob and Omi fed
Omi says that Opa was so happy to see Leah
Carson and Andrew cook and catch-up
kitchen cleaned (again)
Monday plans misunderstood, repeated, confirmed (I think)
bedtime is near

Home Sweet Home

2011-04-13T22:27:00.001-04:00

A day late.

Our connecting flight was cancelled. The plane we were supposed to catch in Philadelphia did not arrive from Toronto. So we had to stay overnight. The view from our room at the airport Ramada sure was different from our hotel in Orlando:

Florida for 5 days was nice get-away. I never did connect with Adam and the gang.

We had a mix of relaxing times and some action filled ones. Our shopping sprees were a bit of both...

The novelty of eating out for every meal wears thin pretty fast. It's hard to find a good variety of healthy food. The T-Rex restaurant in Downtown Disney was a lot of fun though. And of course, everyone working at the restaurants and shops were friendly and courteous.

While I enjoyed my time with these girls, it was great to get home to my family. A few hours after getting home, Leah bounced in the door with her brand new purple cast!

Ah yes, lots of excitement while I was away.

When I checked in with the family on Saturday, Evann was the only one who responded. She shared her insight into the mysterious rituals of Brandon's First Communion ceremony. She also commented that when she saw how much money Brandon was given, she was now rethinking the benefits of religion. Oh and "dad took Leah to Emerg to check out her arm".

Insert mother's guilt here.

It took several texts and phone calls to explain why Leah looked like this by late Saturday afternoon:

Yeah - this is the picture I was sent - and it looks a lot smaller on a blackberry.
I think she is smiling.
I think she will forgive me for not being there.
I think this would have happened even if I had stayed home.

Seems our little jock was playing with some friends at the school and took a bad fall. Her chin was bleeding profusely which must have obscured the pain in her wrist. Leah was escorted home by her friends and Carson patched up her chin. Only the next morning did Leah mention that her arm was sore. When the adults had a look, they found that her wrist was quite swollen. By then they were all dressed and ready to head out to Brandon's First Communion. As soon as the service was over, Rob whisked Leah to the hospital where the doctor on call thought that she had fractured one of the bones in her wrist, but the x-rays were inconclusive. He encased her arm in a splint and booked an appointment for Leah to meet with the fracture specialist this week.

Today was her appointment. More x-rays revealed that she had dislocated a bone in her wrist. The doctor said that this was to be treated like a fracture, and needed to be in a cast for at least 4 weeks. A purple cast of course:

She is not supposed to play any sports while in the cast. Leah told me that she tried to hide her splint from the track and basketball coaches on Monday. Apparently word got around pretty quick about her injury.

Not surprising - the cast hasn't slowed her down at all. After dinner, the two of us walked around the block throwing a football back and forth the entire time. And no, I would not call that a sport! We were both just letting off some steam...

I think we will both be fine. (Until she finds out that she won't be able to try out for the rep hockey team next weekend!)

It's good to be home.

Poolside

2011-04-08T20:58:00.002-04:00

...in Orlando.

I'm taking advantage of a last-minute opportunity to chaperone Brigid's 13 year-old daughter and daughter's girlfriend while Brigid is at a conference. The conference doesn't kick off til Sunday night so we have some time for the four of us to explore, swim, shop and hit every ride in Universal Studios.

Adam, Yvonne and kiddies are flying down tomorrow. Their trip has been in the works for months. They gave Mom a grocery list a week ago. Some people are so organized...

Even though we live 20 minutes apart, we find it hard getting together back home. But we think we are going to be able meet up sometime Monday. In Disney. Mom and Dad are going to try to make it as well. They are spending their last week at Ken and Pat's - which I think is less than an hour from here.

Organized and optimistic - that's our family!

Wine, women and wishful thinking

2011-04-06T23:45:00.009-04:00

Whoo-eee! Just back from another one hour walk and talk with a girlfriend. I was pretty proud of myself for thinking that I had managed to get in 2 one-hour walks and an hour bike ride within the last 5 days. Then I checked my calendar and saw that my first gal-pal-power-walk-and-talk was 2 Saturdays ago. Damn. Ah well, it's a start.

What has been keeping me off the streets? Besides keeping the house in order for showings, work, driving kids all around town, hockey parties and welcoming Irma and Leo back home? A cold - that has almost run its course. The day I was home nursing my stuffy nose and head, I dragged myself out to Leah's last basketball game of the season. She had missed a few games as she had sprained her ankle last week (playing soccer with the boys at recess). Thankfully Carson was home that day - with my car - and was able to pick up Leah from school and take her to a walk-in clinic to confirm that the sprain wasn't too serious.

I was looking forward to watching Leah play. This is her first season and she is having lots of fun. During the warm up I could see that her ankle was still bothering her. She was in the starting line-up (on a team of grade 6 - 8 girls, Leah being one of the youngest players), and got the team's first basket. And made this foul shot ("Mom, you can't see the ball in this picture!"):

The coach took her out for most of the last quarter. Despite her assurances that her ankle was fine, both the coach and I could see a pronounced limp to her gallops down the court. Time for a rest and a chance for the other girls to play. Guess who wasn't happy with that call?

The big girls have been busy with their part-time jobs - both of them thrilled with the disposable income at their - uh - disposal. Carson is saving for a car and Ev just paid a deposit on a class trip. It's interesting that all three of us are taking a crash course in money management right now. So far I haven't had to borrow money from them...

I spent an enjoyable evening last week at a local wine-tasting event. The one down-side to that night was that the only pen I had on hand to take notes was a big fat sharpie. Usually I love to write with it, but the pairing was all wrong with the wine comment sheet we were given. I'm still trying to decipher my notes:

Let's see - the 2008 Pisoni Teroldego had "a good spine of acidity". And that 2007 Cave de Montlouis Sec, a chemin blanc, was too young. These of course were not my observations, but that of Tony Aspler, a noted wine journalist. Tony was witty, gracious, informative and not the least bit snooty. None of the wines we tasted were over $19.95. Of course, these wines were chosen for their potential to improve their flavour (and value) after a few years of cellaring - that is putting away for a few years. Those of us without custom made wine cellars (the woman seated beside me designed and built her home around her dream wine cellar) were given a crash course on how to turn a corner of a basement closet into the ideal place to store a few dozen bottles of wine.

Very inspiring for a gal who loves good wine and has some daughters she can line up as investors to share in the dividends a few years down the road. Motherhood has its rewards.

Weekend Round-up

2011-03-27T22:16:00.002-04:00

Sunday night, watching the Juno's on TV. Computer on my lap. Trying to remember what we did this weekend. Then I check my pix on my phone and start laughing...

Friday night I leave the Hockey Volunteer Appreciation Dance early to pick up Evann and her girlfriends from a sushi restaurant in Burlington. Ev, Ginny, Jessica and ASHLEY WITH A BABY!?!?!?!?! I was introduced to Sophia - holy smokes that baby looked like the real thing. I had heard about these interactive babies that the family studies students have to "parent" but I didn't know that our high school had them.

The girls reported that the baby was a bit fussy at the restaurant. Apparently that was nothing compared to how sweet little Sophia behaved during her sleepover at our house. The four girls all slept in the basement apartment - well three of the girls did. Seems Ashley was up with a cranky Sophia most of the night - in the bathroom with the door closed trying not to wake the other girls. Feeding, burping and changing the baby. Saturday morning the girls had me in tears from the funny stories about all the things Ashley has had to contend with while she has been a "mom".

Here she is feeding the baby in the morning.

Oh those girls are so entertaining!

Saturday Leah played her 2nd last hockey game of the season. She was in net and did well. She has grown so much the past few months - it was shocking to see her in the goalie gear - almost towering over me.

Here she is getting strapped into the goalie pads...

Today was her very last game of the season - the girls won again. Unfortunately, they didn't make it into the playoffs. When the final buzzer went, the moms in the stands didn't move. Hard to believe that we didn't want this season to end - we have been coming to the arena every weekend since the end of September. Once again, thirteen girls and their families formed a strong bond that for many of us, will continue for years to come, outside of the arena.

After the game, our family decided to pop in on Carson at work. She was the only wait staff working - and my goodness that girl works hard. We reward her by making her pose for a bunch of pictures... what a good sport.

We left her a big tip.

Techno Birthday

2011-03-21T22:39:00.001-04:00

Ev loved her little gifts set out on the breakfast table this morning. And I'm told that her she had an acceptable number of birthday wishes posted on Facebook.

Rob and I were all happy to relieve Evann of the stigma of being the only teenager in Oakville without a computer...(of course, we are probably the only parents in Oakville who would give their child a laptop for her birthday, on the condition that she contributes 1/4 of the cost.)

Right after opening her gift, she had to update her BBM and Facebook status...

We had a lovely dinner at Il Fornello's. Interspersed with doodling...

...table hockey...

...birthday calls...

... and playing on dad's phone.

The kids graciously posed for a group shot...

On our way home, they tried out a flexi-camera...

apparently, Leah's ears weren't the best subject for after dinner viewing...

Lots of fun, lots of laugh, lots of love.

HBD EK!

(jk)

Mom xo

Maple Syrup and Oreos

2011-03-20T22:36:00.001-04:00

The last day of March Break. We capped off our fun week with a trip to the local Maple Syrup Festival.

Ev and Carson both worked today but we were able to find one more girl to join us - our Avry. She kept Leah, Vienna and Eli busy as they chased her throughout the park.

Here's Vienna checking out the sap

We watched demonstrations of maple syrup cooking methods.

Took lots of pictures

After we said goodbye to Paula, Ven and Eli, we hit the mall to buy a few birthday goodies for Evann. Made it home in time to pack up the hockey gear, pick up Ev from work and get Leah to one of her last games of the season. The team was short a full line and a few of the girls, Leah included, were recovering from bad colds/strep throat/bronchitis. Despite an excellent effort, they lost 3-1. Leah was very disappointed "We should have won that game. What could we have done different so we could win?"

Home for dinner, then Leah and Ev had an oreo eating contest. One of those win-win contests...

One last job to wrap up a great week...

Somebody is turning 17 tomorrow!!!

Wasn't that a Party?

2011-03-18T19:48:00.000-04:00

Mom's March Break fun...

I went out with my crazy Irish girlfriend last night.
To an Irish pub.
Great music.
Irish dancers.
2 floors of fun.
Met some old friends, made some new ones.

I'm thinking that the start of baseball season (May) will be when I am ready to have another beer...

Wednesday Morning

2011-03-16T10:26:00.002-04:00

Almost 10:30. The smell of fried bacon permeates the house. Pancake batter is mixed to perfect lumpiness. I will pour myself another cup of coffee, cuddle up on the couch with my laptop, and enjoy this silence and solitude.

I wonder which of the seven young women sleeping in this house will be the first up?

I wonder when the last breakfast will be served?

------------------------

12:10 Breakfast is served

And spring has sprung

Frosty morning/Shadows

2011-03-15T11:00:00.010-04:00

Stay-cation - Days 1 & 2

2011-03-14T20:00:00.002-04:00

Like most years, we are home this March Break. Like all years, we surround ourselves with family and friends. And food.

During this meal, I found out that Ev and her friends have been contemplating the idea of getting all the moms together for a dinner party. Of course, I loved it and offered to host a mother-daughter dinner party for Ev's upcoming birthday. The girls weren't quite ready for that reality... something about being worried about whose mom would be the most embarrassing.

I have no idea what they are talking about...

Carson and Andrew have taken Leah under their wing. For the past few months, we haven't been able to figure out if Andrew likes hanging out at our place to play hockey or basketball with Leah, enjoys my cooking or really likes just spending time with Carson.
Most recently, Leah has been hanging out at Andrew's. He is teaching her how to play the drums - apparently she is good enough that the music teacher let her switch from trumpet to percussion in class.
Today Leah was thrilled that Andrew let her use his "awesome skateboard".
Carson always seems to have time for her baby sister.

Saturday night we had all the cousins over. Andrew and the kids played basketball.

What she lacks in form, she makes up in grit

Carson and Andrew changed their plans and made it 14 for dinner. The kids made placecards, I had 2 ovens going, Yvonne kept me focussed and the boys kept the glasses full.

Uncle Adam and Cousin Brent were duly impressed with Ev's beer cap collection:

Avry loved being with her cousins

We all enjoyed the company of baby Sydney - look at that hair!

Not much planned for the week - just enjoying our time together.

This morning's smile

2011-03-09T10:24:00.001-05:00

Those of you who know me well, know that I have what some would describe as an unhealthy scepticism of organized religion. That said, I do my best to engage my kids in discussions of the various religious holidays, traditions and observances that are happening at the time.

This morning's discussion was about Lent. I opined that it would be good for us to give up something; make a small personal sacrifice in our rich lives. "What is something that we really like, that we could try to do without for 4 weeks?"

Without missing a beat, one of my darlings proposed "Boys!?!"

Post-script to Saturday night

2011-03-08T20:29:00.001-05:00

We drove to the event through pouring rain. By the time we closed the place, rain had turned to snow. I had sensible shoes for driving in the car, but I had to walk quite a way to get there... the trials and tribulations of being the Designated Driver.

Of course I left Paula and Brigid at the door of the hall with all the silent auction goodies. With the wind and snow whipping around us, we struggled to fit a huge framed print into my van. And a big ornamental clock - at least 5 feet in diameter. We finally had to take the print out of the box. Once we had the goodies loaded, we had to pry open the back doors (they were frozen shut). And then we had to coax the doors into closing. And then Brigid had to sit with her print wedged against her all the way home. And, the ride home took over an hour as the highways weren't plowed.

And, as we said our respective goodbyes, we all agreed "We can't wait to do it again next year!"

Life for Luke

2011-03-06T20:07:00.010-05:00

For 10 years, the family and friends of Lucy and Enio Liegghio have organized a spectacular Life For Luke Dinner Gala in support of the SickKids Foundation and the Canadian Chapter of the National Niemann-Pick Disease Foundation.

Niemann-Pick Disease(NPD) is one of a group of lysosomal storage diseases that affect metabolism and that are caused by genetic mutations. The three most commonly recognized forms are Niemann-Pick Types A, B and C.

Niemann-Pick Disease Type C (NPC) most often strikes young children or infants. It is not easy to diagnose and it is always fatal. Luke Liegghio, Alex Vaughan and Laura Vaughan were 8, 4 and 6 respectively when they died from NPC. Their bodies were not able to metabolize cholesterol and other lipids properly within the cell. Consequently, excessive amounts of cholesterol accumulate within the liver and spleen and excessive amounts of other lipids accumulate in the brain.

My friends Allan and Tammy Vaughan lost 2 children to NPC. Alex would be 23 and Laura 15, if they were still alive. I met Al and Tammy in high school up in Hanover way back in 1978. We never could have imagined how our lives would be affected by this disease. I was honoured to be asked to be a founding board member of the Canadian Chapter of the National Niemann-Pick Disease Foundation. We want to do everything we can to keep another family from losing a child.

Here are some interesting numbers:

500 - the estimated number of NPC cases world-wide
675 - the number of people at the Life for Luke event
3,340 - the number of Canadians who will be diagnosed with cancer every week.

Raising awareness and money to support research for a rare disease like Niemann-Pick is a challenge. Events like Life for Luke and the Alex & Laura Vaughan Memorial Golf Tournament have raised over $1 million dollars to support research and support families.

There are so many charities and causes that need our support - either with time or money. I'm not able to give a lot, but I am proud of what I can do to make the difference to 500 kids, their families and friends.

=================================

The Life for Luke Gala was sad, poignant and hopeful. Amid the tears, there was fun and laughter. The first few years I attended the Life for Luke event, I went on my own and sat with Allan, Tammy and various board members and on occasion, was seated with local elected officials. The past two years I invited some girlfriends to join me. Last year Carol, Laurie and Marion bought tickets and attended the gala. We had fun bidding on silent auction items and dancing the night away.

This year, Paula, Brigid and Brigid's friend Rosa joined me.

It was great to spend time with Tammy and Allan again (the golf tournament is June 25th this year).

Paula couldn't help teasing me when she found out that the midnight porchetta buffet was my favourite part of the evening. I'm kicking myself for not offering to buy the remains of this little piggy. Oh man, all the food was delicious, but that pork was divine.

We dressed up, enjoyed great food, furiously bid on some great silent auction items, connected with old friends, made some new ones, danced like it was 1999 and had a fabulous evening. There are thousands of these charity events in our area every year. Put on by thousands of volunteers and supported by thousands more.

Fundraiser by fundraiser, board meeting by board meeting, we are all making a difference.

Carpe Daughter

2011-02-28T22:37:00.003-05:00

To date, I have gone through life with not much of a plan, making mistakes as I go, and grateful to land butter-side-up when I make the inevitable and spectacular falls.

Serendipity and goodwill, more than a personal vision and strategy, have been my guides.

I may not have known where I was going, but I always knew that I wanted to have a big family and I knew that my first born would be a girl.

Nothing earth shattering, but for me, a truth and a purpose that has comforted me like an old wool blanket on a cold cold night.

My first born is everything I imagined she would be, including strong, smart, resilient, independent. Of course, I didn't really expect that she would have formed all these personality traits by 3 months of age. So for the first 18 years of her life, we have been engaged in a battle of wills and wits.

How we managed to raise two other girls during this time still amazes me...

Two nights ago I found myself at the local pub, sitting at the bar with this woman, drinking beer, sharing a pizza and salad, and watching the hockey game. I may not have envisioned this exact mother-daughter milestone scenario, but I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

The icing on the cake - she paid!

Going out tonight - wearing my hat and boots and Leah's coat!

Family Day

2011-02-22T22:28:00.001-05:00

Family Day weekend began on Friday with Leah participating in a hockey tournament. This time it was in Oakville. Once again, the team made it to the finals. This time though, despite a hard fought contest, the team finished with silver medals.

Monday was Leah's first day "off" and she spent it with cousin Avry. Dwayne and Janice had dropped into Adam and Yvonne's. I brought over a dozen donuts - thinking that at least some of Dwayne and Janice's kids would be there to enjoy them. No Holliday/Boose kids but somehow the donuts disappeared without them...

Once again, baby Sydney managed to contain her excitement, keeping her eyes closed most of the time we were there. Dwayne and Janice tried, but just couldn't get that baby to wake up.

My oh my, that Sydney is a cutie

Ev and I left Leah with her cousins and headed home. On the way, we decided that we were ready for Ev's first driving lesson. We searched our neighbourhood for a vacant (and plowed) parking lot, switched seats and with goofy grins plastered to our faces...kept the car in park while Ev got familiar with the location of the gas and break pedals. Then it was time for the real thing. A few circles around the parking lot and then out into the street. Slowly Ev drove the 10 or so blocks home. For her first time, she did really well. (When I tucked in Leah that night, I told her about Ev's first driving lesson. "How was she taking corners? Really wide or too tight?" Leah asked. "Uh, both." I replied, wondering how the heck she thinks of these things.)

The older girls hung around the house most of the day and Andrew joined us for dinner - thank you Irma for the stuffed pasta shells and sauce that you made and froze for us before you left for Florida.

Adam, Avry and Leah showed up after dinner for a splash in the hot tub. They had been taking advantage of lots of free Family Day activities at the local rec centre. The plan was to go for a swim after their skating session, but they found that the pool had a long waiting line. Plan B worked out perfectly. We were still sitting around the kitchen table after dinner. Rob, Andrew and Ev were showing each other their favourite games on their phones and iPad.

I joined Adam, Avry and Leah in the hot tub. Avry was in heaven, swimming back and forth between us. Once out, Carson dried and styled Avry's hair - I don't know who had more fun...

That evening was a perfect end to a very stressful and hectic week. Hooray for Family Day!

100 things. In my bathroom cupboard. The left side. Bottom shelf.

2011-02-16T18:12:00.009-05:00

Our realtor was here today with a photographer. Every room was stripped of all our personal belongings. Pictures, school notices, calendars. Cords were tucked away. The closets were jammed with ratty towels, toiletries, bills and homework. Toothbrushes and toothpaste did not grace the bathroom counters. Surprisingly, the Justin Bieber posters could stay.

Before we have an Open House, we can put some of the stuff back, but the closets and cupboards need to be immaculate. We've been told that we can jamb stuff into the dryer with abandon and no one will be the wiser...

A few weeks ago, Mom sent me a link to a guy working on getting all his worldly possessions down to 100 things. I was telling that to one of the girls this morning as we jammed a laundry basket full of make-up, perfume, cleansers, bags, brushes, hair products and hair appliances.

"He's a guy. That's easy."

So true. But why is that acceptable? Why do we women "need" all this stuff?

Another fascinating insight on this journey.

What happens in the Falls, stays in the Falls

2011-02-13T09:38:00.001-05:00

High-roller Aunt Mary treated me to a get-away in Niagara Falls this week. We graciously let Brent be our chauffeur and join in on the fun.

I was battling the end of a head cold but managed to persevere and enjoy a crazy big buffet and a fabulous live show - Human Nature - 4 scrawny white guys from Australia who performed all the Motown hits and moves to perfection. As for the gambling, I just couldn't bring myself to sit in front of a slot machine and feed it my hard earned $. While Mary made her way around the casino trying her luck, Brent and I were happy to sit at the bar and play Blackjack. At least that took a bit of skill. Of course it was just on a machine, not at a table with real cards and a real dealer and real big stakes. And of course, I probably managed to lose just as much $ as if I was playing the slot machines.

We were there less than 24 hours, but it was a much needed break from reality. Casinos are fascinating places. I could just stroll around all day being entertained by people watching. As for what stayed in the Falls...somehow I managed to leave my phone charger and reading glasses behind. Thankfully the hotel found my charger and is shipping it to me. And today I will be heading out to pick up another 3-pack of reading glasses...

I know I've said it many times before, but I sure am grateful for my wonderful family. Thanks Mary and Brent.

A Non-Ficton Story...to be continued

2011-02-07T22:46:00.004-05:00

We are tackling a big job at the house - decluttering. Some stuff is easy to part with. Other found items are treasures. Everyone has kept the complaining to a minimum and have been rewarded by the discovery of some blasts from the past.

Leah's reactions to the pix below were:

1. Indignant
"Am I eating dirt? You let me eat dirt?"

2. Embarrassing
"Oh I remember that party. Everyone was drunk."
(OK - it was me who was embarrassed.)

My heart melted when I found this:

I keep as many of the kids notes as possible. Evann is the most prolific. I thought it was because she shared my love of writing, and the need to reflect and make sense of the world. I remember putting pen to paper to express my disgust with my mean cousin Cindy. I was 7 or so and had to let my aunt and uncle know that "I hate Cindy because she won't let me play with her Spirograph". About 20 years later, Aunt Pat showed me that note and I was immediately transported to their living room, fuming as I watched Cindy make beautiful designs with the magical little plastic wheel. And not letting me have a turn!

This note transported Ev too - she got indignant all over again!

(Click on it to make it bigger to read)

I'm now thinking that she is writing to set the record straight. Oh, the trials and tribulations of being the perfect sister (and middle child)!

Our growing family

2011-01-29T20:32:00.000-05:00

Sydney met the rest of her cousins today. Well, she was in the presence of her cousins today - she didn't seem to muster up enough energy to open her eyes. That didn't stop our gang from falling in love at first sight

I'm sure Sydney will be impressed soon

Day 5 with 2 daughters and Adam seems to have everything in hand

Syd the Newest Kid and the Miracle of Modern Communication

2011-01-25T17:06:00.017-05:00

Monday January 24, 2011
BBM [Text messages] with Evann and Carson

1:43 pm
E: What are we doing with those fish that were in Carson's bathroom?
   [Discussion ensues.....]

1:50 pm
E: Oh! and did you hear where Carson went?

Mom: Uh oh. Where?

E: To take aunt yvonne to the hospital!!   Wooooo

Mom: Wooo! Have you heard from gma and gpa?

E: Nope

Mom: I can't find them

E: Find? or reach

Mom: I will call up to aunt Joyce. I think they might be there

E: OK tell me what happens then

Mom: When did C go to hospital?

E: Maybe 20 minutes ago or so

Mom: How exciting! Keep me in the loop

E: Yupp!   Ughhh what is your administrator password for the last time! I need.....

[More discussion that reveals:
   1. mom's complete disregard for a teenager's need for her own laptop, or at the least,
   2. a teenager's need for a mom who can remember administrator passwords...]
====================================================

2:12 pm
Mom : Hey - what's going on?

C: Hey yvonne is in labour, guessing you knew that but I'm just
   at the hospital with her right now. With uncle adam and flo

[Phone call to catch up and to direct me to text phone numbers to C so A can call folks and brother]

C: Or just call them

Mom: Will do

C: Call dwayne too

Mom: Kk

C: Or just give me the numbers ill do it

3:04
Mom: Gma & gpa are coming home tomorrow morning.
   I left a msg for D&J

3:46
C: Ok!  Omg adam passed out

Mom: Is he ok?

C: We brought him some food and drink. He hadn't eaten anything all day.
   Poor guy was white as a ghost

Mom: My tummy flipped when I read that

C: Passed out when Y was getting the eppidural. I just took him home...

Mom: You aren't in there too are you? Let me know what we can do to help

C: No I'm not. Flo and I were in the waiting room
   Well he's home now.
   I drove his car there and bob followed and drove me back

   But u can do my laundry, shower for me and go to work .... :D

Mom: Np! [translation - No problem]
3:52

========================================================
10:00 pm
Mom at A&Y's keeping watch over Avry
Ev at home studying for biology exam
C at work

Status on my BBM - "Baby Bailey weighs in at 9 pounds!"

10:06 pm
C: Aww! She was born!! What time! And what's her name?
   Please say drew!
   And holy moses 9 lbs!!!!

Mom: No name yet. Ad says she looks just like Avry only darker hair

C: Awww

10:20 pm
E: Name?

Mom: None yet

E: OK
===================================================
Tuesday January 25

10:55 am
Mom: Hi. Let me know what you are up to today.
   Do you have time to visit Y and Syd this afternoon?
   Should bring a gift but I don't know what.
   Something for Avry too?

E: They named her sydney!

12:16 pm
C: Thanks for the email, were gonna go visit right now!

And shortly after, the girls had posted these pictures on their BBM profiles:

Awww!
Tonight Leah and I made it to the hospital a half hour before visiting time was over. I was in such a hurry to get there, that I forgot my camera. Thankfully I have a phone that takes pictures...

We arrived as Avry was about to hold her little sister

Leah was a pro at holding a newborn

And here she is - this picture doesn't do her justice 'cause she is a real cutie.

Welcome Sydney Gwendolyn!

Gold Medal Weekend

2011-01-16T20:21:00.002-05:00

Hockey tournaments are always fun, but this weekend's was extra special.

Playing in the middle of a mall;

enjoying a great meal with 40 of our newest and closest friends;

got some great coaching and affirmations (first year playing defence - she's soaking it all in);

playing on an Olympic size rink;

was game 1 MVP;

winning all 5 games;

and

for the first time in 6 years of playing hockey - TASTED GOLD!

Congrats Ninjas!

And to top it all off, she got to share this special weekend with her newly acquainted Kitchener cousins.

Congrats Leah! You are a champion to so many people, in so many ways.

Rink rat Christmas

2010-12-31T13:54:00.000-05:00

It has been unseasonably mild yesterday and today. This has put a damper on the skating fun we have been enjoying lately.

We've been on three different rinks the past two weeks - starting at Dwayne and Janice's.

They have a natural rink out on the corn field. So in addition to exchanging gifts, filling up on a yummy brunch and taking lots of fun family pix, the kids and uncles had a great time playing hockey for an hour or so. The rest of us enjoyed our wine and watched them through the windows.

Some family pix from that day:

Back in the city, Rob, Leah and Carson built and leveled a form, laid plastic and flooded most of our backyard. The result, a cool little skating rink that up until the warm weather hit yesterday, has seen lots of action.

Carson and her boyfriend were out with Leah one night for almost 2 hours. Another night she had some friends over for a skate. We weren't surprised to learn that one of Carson's many Christmas gifts from her boyfriend was a pair of hockey skates:

Uncle Adam and Avry have been on the ice as have cousins Liam and Brandon.

On Boxing Day we met a dozen or so cousins in Hamilton at a rink by the Bay. Shelley and John braved the bitter cold to stand and cheer on their kids who have had little opportunity to skate.

That was a beautiful rink, but man it was COLD!

Thankfully mom had hot chocolate waiting for us. We spent a few hours getting caught up with the cousins (and switching the tv channels from the world jr. hockey game and NFL football).

We caught up with most of the gang again the next day at Aunt Pat's. I love watching Leah and Jake connect so easily after being apart for so long. This cousin thing is magical.

I was able to spend a few hours in Toronto yesterday with friends and tonight will be with friends and family. Not a bad way to spend the last day of what I think will be known as "That Year".

Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life. Bring it on.

Emmerson Holliday - August 20, 1932 - December 23, 2006

2010-12-24T01:13:00.006-05:00

IF he had to die, he was adamant that it would come in the form of a gunshot from a jealous husband. At his memorial service, most of us agreed that a sudden, fatal heart attack was the next best scenario.

He was a proud man. A man’s man. A lady’s man. A man who had 10 years earlier, after a series of debilitating strokes, regained all that he had lost, physically and mentally. We all knew that another blow to his body would be a brutal blow to his dignity. The doctor said that dad probably didn’t know what was happening and died almost instantly. “Yup,” I heard over and over again, “your dad wouldn’t have wanted to linger”.

He had a colourful vocabulary. I don’t recall much swearing (unlike this daughter of his who drops f-bombs like the Bay drops its prices – everywhere and often), but funny sayings and names: “Here’s your hat, what’s your hurry?” to guests overstaying their welcome; “You Potlicker” to those who ticked him off; “If you were any smarter you would be a twin” delivered sarcastically to those with a much too high opinion of themselves. In the last few years, his term of endearment to his favourite women was “Dolly” – as in “Well Dolly, it was great to see you.” I realize now that he used it when he was expressing his feelings – kind of like the way guys say “I love ya”. They feel it, know they should express it (because it is ok for guys to do that now), but coming to this acceptance late in life, have to disguise it. In the last few years though, our phone conversations did end with “I love you” “I love you too”. It was still such a novelty that I hung up the phone with tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat every time.

Dad’s love of all things Playboy must have kept Hugh Hefner in luxurious dressing gowns for years. In the 70’s, dad’s rec room was full of playboy posters, and saucy paraphernalia. I loved serving my friends cold drinks in the glasses with the scantily dressed playboy bunnies’ pictures on them. If the glass got cold enough, the little bit of clothing on the bunny would magically disappear! Bare-breasted women! Hard to believe that was a novelty back then. Dad loved his women. The more voluptuous, the better.

Another love was country music. Dolly Parton was a favourite – go figure! Every time I hear The Orange Blossom Special I am transported to the back seat of his car where Dwayne and I would draw on the frosty windows and listen to the country music station that would always be playing. I fell in love with Johnny Cash when dad and Loretta dragged me to see him at Exhibition Stadium. I was a sophisticated (!) 19 year-old who thought she was humouring her father by letting him take me to the concert. We were three rows from the stage. The Man in Black had an understated, but electric presence. He played from the heart and you could tell that this was his calling. I was mesmerized. June Carter performed with him and I could feel the sparks fly between them when they sang “Jackson”. It remains one of my all time favourite songs.

In addition to country music, he introduced me to a love of driving, road trips and fast cars. When, at age 18, I first moved up to Hanover to live with him, he bought me an orange VW Bug. I do not recall the heater ever working in that thing. But it was fun and putt-putted me to wherever I needed to go. It wasn’t long before the bug was gone and I had use of his 1976 Thunderbird. Now that was a car! Sun roof, power everything, cruise control. And a 427 horsepower engine! That baby could fly. And that is what I did. After school or on weekends, the car would be full of kids and we would sail along the back roads. Music blaring, beer in the back seat (yes those were different times) and smiles on our faces a mile wide. To top things off, I didn’t even have to pay for gas. I could fill up at dad’s shop. At the time, he owned a transport company. Funny, I never really thought of dad as a business man. I always thought of myself as a trucker’s daughter. There were two other owners – former bankers who worked “inside”. Dad was the one who worked on the trucks and with the drivers.

I remember attending some of his company Christmas parties. So many of his staff would come up to me and tell me what a wonderful man my father was. “He would give you the shirt off his back.” “Your dad is the hardest working/most honest/generous person I know.” I would look over at him with pride. Did I mention that dad cleaned up good? He was a sharp dresser. Except that in the 70’s and early 80’s, guys in rhinestone cowboy suits were considered fashionable. Dad loved his cowboy garb. His dress shoes were always cowboy boots. At his memorial service, Marie made sure that dad’s salmon coloured cowboy suit was on display.

Dad was an avid hunter, a great cook, and a practical joker. This all combined to give him great pleasure serving moose steaks to unsuspecting guests. “You like that?” he would ask when complimented on the meal. Then he would proudly reveal, “You’re eating moose you know”. The first year that he didn’t go on his annual moose hunting trip was traumatic for all of us. But being outside in the cold for hours just wasn’t something his body could tolerate anymore. Though we still wonder how much hunting was really done – there seemed to be a helluva lot of drinking going on then too.

Dad hunted deer for a while too. One day he reported that he was done deer hunting for good. Seems my manly-man father got close enough to a doe to be swept away by those big brown eyes and delicate face. Never again would a deer be caught in the sites of his gun.

Wherever and whenever, dad was a lover, not a fighter.

There are so many things I have already forgotten about the life and times of Emmerson Holliday. Not that I got too close to him to know him well. I lived with him the first three years of my life, then again for a few years in my late teens. Only in the last few years did he give me advice – “keep working for the government – you don’t want to give up that pension” is really the only piece I remember. Oh, and his career advice way back in 1976. I will never forget the look of shock on his face when he found out that I was in grade 11 and had never taken typing. “How are you going to get a job if you don’t know how to type?" I was absolutely dumbfounded that he expected his daughter to be a secretary. He didn’t share my optimism that I could have any career I wanted. (This from the woman who still doesn’t know what she wants to do when she grows up.)

In all kinds of weather, dad would be clad only in shorts - no shirt, no shoes. (His chest was a mass of hair, and I assumed that kept him warm.) What a shock to hear him declare matter-of-factly that because of his diabetes, he couldn’t walk barefoot anymore. Any cuts to his feet could turn into a life-threatening infection. I shared his love of walking barefoot and was saddened to hear how easily he accepted this fate. This was the man who in his forties, when diagnosed with high blood pressure, and told by his doctor “Emmerson, you are going to have to cut out red meat and booze” exclaimed, “Doc, you might as well shoot me now!”. I remember him telling that story repeatedly. But I didn’t understand what he meant until I was in my mid-forties and needed to start managing my high blood pressure.

It’s a long past midnight now. I wanted to post this on the anniversary of the day he died, December 23, 2006. As I look through the few pictures I have of him, I recall his love of boats and fishing. Of how he wore his shirts open half-way down his chest (back in the days when a "button-down kinda guy" was a good thing). His gold chains and diamond rings. And his hats. He was known for his collection of trucker's hats.

I will continue to collect and reflect on those memories. It has been a long time since I have thought about what this man meant to me. He was a father, but I’m not sure he was a father-figure. I worshipped him for years, then was angry with him for quite a while.

But like dad, I’m more of a lover than a fighter. He was who he was. We both could have worked harder to nurture our relationship. I just know that he brought me into this world, loved me, was proud of me and in the end, he made sure I knew that.

Live, love and learn. Thanks Dad.

A Good Start

2010-12-21T06:49:00.000-05:00

Some progress made - in many ways.
It is going to be a long winter.

Serenity. Soon.

2010-12-20T07:24:00.000-05:00

My Christmas shopping is done and the presents are wrapped and under the tree

The table is starting to look inviting (some more candles, a burgundy runner and Christmas crackers should tie everything together)

With the fun stuff out of the way, it is time to tackle the den. The before pictures are a fright:

I'm staying home from my paying job today to work on turning this room into my sanctuary.

There's a full pot of coffee, orange juice and some oatmeal ready to provide the fuel I will need to sort, purge, file, donate and store the stuff that has accumulated in here the past 11 years.

If this room is able to be transformed before the end of 2010, I will be a happy woman.

Produce Codes and the Roman Room Technique

2010-12-02T10:33:00.002-05:00

Someone has a new job.
Involving vegetables and fruit and numbers.
And lots of memorization.

From what I can see, that someone must be trying out the old memorization trick known as

The Roman Room Technique

The Roman Room technique is an ancient and effective way of remembering unstructured information where the relationship of items of information to other items of information is not important.

It functions by imaging a room.

Within that room are objects.

The technique works by associating images with those objects.

To recall information, simply take a tour around the room in your mind, visualizing the known objects and their associated images.

I dunno how it's working for Ev, but from now on, I'm going to associate brocolli, sweet potatoes, green beans, cabbage and lettuce with grubby walls, smudgy mirrors, cluttered fridges and dusty light switches.

Oh what is that I hear? Maybe I should spend less time blogging and more time doing housework?

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!

In my next life.

Sleepover Fun

2010-11-28T23:14:00.000-05:00

For the little girl who has everything, we decided that a spa sleepover would be a great birthday present. Her parents were able to find time in her calendar, and last night (one month past her birthday) was deemed THE SLEEPOVER NIGHT!

We dropped her back home a bit before noon today, and her mom reports that she hasn't stopped talking about her time with her cousins.

I hope she remembered to tell her mom and dad about our nice pasta dinner;

making cookies;

splashing in the hot tub ("mommy said don't be in for a long time");

getting a tattoo;

and manicure;

watching Ev's manicure;

getting a pedicure;

sleeping with Leah (after reading a book, cuddling her dolly, a sorrowful half hour of crying "I want mommy and daddy" while being cuddled by Leah and Auntie Valerie, following Auntie Valerie downstairs, cuddling with Ev and Leah on the couch, and following Leah upstairs and back into bed);

waking up early;

learning about JB through the wonders of play doh;

then spending an hour in the McDonalds playroom (she did finish her milk).

We think she will want to do this every year!

We can't wait!

They danced, they screamed, they smiled as Justin put on a great show!

2010-11-24T07:47:00.001-05:00

Special thanks to this mom who gave me a pair of earplugs.

Sweet Dream are Made of This

2010-11-22T23:16:00.001-05:00

The girl with the posters on her wall

And ceiling

Has her laid out her outfit

And is fast asleep (finally)

Dreaming of the day she has been anticipating for months

Mom has the sharpies

(Purple is his favourite colour you know)

And the bookjacket cover

Now tucked away in her purse

Just in case cousin Brian finds a way to get us in for a

MEET AND GREET with Justin!

Just in case...

(Shhh, we don't want to get her hopes up.)

Birthday Brunch

2010-11-19T09:41:00.008-05:00

The real (i.e. friends) birthday party has yet to take place, but Leah was a gracious guest of honour at her family birthday party last weekend.

I was glad to finally reveal the special present that we had been teasing Leah about.

Et voila! Our very own - no more rentals - Chocolate Fountain!

See that guy on the far right?

We had to drag him away from the chocolate every 5 minutes.

I wonder where this little one gets her sweet tooth from?

Eventually everyone helped themselves to brunch and gathered around the table.

Leah was spoiled - as usual. Her cousin was a big help opening gifts. The Justin Bieber sillybands were a hit with both girls.

While the birthday girl enjoyed her gifts, Grandma and Grandpa helped finish off the gooey chocolate mess at the bottom of the fountain.

I am pleased to report that the fountain washes up beautifully. Now that it has been tested and given two "fondue forks up", it will begin its Christmas party rounds.

Well that backfired...

2010-11-08T09:40:00.007-05:00

Someone didn't do her homework last weekend and had to face the consequences. According to her status on her MSN account, she was (barely) able to survive the punishment:

"im grounded this week so im up in my room eatin halloween candy doing homework (love being grounded!)"

Autumn Garden

2010-11-06T12:28:00.008-04:00

It is a beautiful crisp sunny day. Perfect for hanging out laundry.

I hadn't been in the backyard for a few weeks, and was pleasantly surprised by the colours, textures, and yes, flowers in this little yard. I just had to grab the camera.

It's a Slow News Day

2010-11-03T20:46:00.001-04:00

I headed in a bit later than usual this morning so I grabbed the camera and recorded my commute.

8:10 Car parked. Trek to train station -oops, not gonna make that train (that green and white thing way in the background)

8:20 Down the stairs, up the stairs to the platform

9:03 Whizzing past the traffic on the Gardiner

9:15 Following the throngs through Union Station

9:24 Checking out the new Trump Tower on Bay Street

9:27 Almost there

9:30 The view from my corner cubicle - looking South

Looking North West - that's Nathan Philips Square in the middle

Of course, the boss (of my boss's boss) has the best view

And so began the third part of my day.

Paradigm Shift

2010-11-02T04:53:00.000-04:00

A radical change in personal beliefs, complex systems or organizations, replacing the former way of thinking or organizing with a radically different way of thinking or organizing.

Paradigm Shift was a buzzword that came into favour in the world of business management in the mid 1990's. I remember the first time my boss used it to describe how the OPS (Ontario Public Service) was changing and how managers were going to have to be prepared for the fallout.

Not surprisingly, it is a phrase that incessantly buzzes in my head these past few months. My world, and the world of so many others has shifted. Some would say shattered.

Thomas Kuhn, the man who developed this theory believed that "Successive transition from one paradigm to another is the usual developmental pattern of maturity.".

While we pick up the pieces and learn radically different ways of thinking and organizing ourselves, this transition marks a new beginning. There are so many good quotes on new beginnings. These will be our buzzwords in the months to come:

"Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.” - Seneca

''Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.'' - Carl Bard

''Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.'' - Henry Ford

''I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning to sail my ship.'' - Louisa May Alcott

''The darkest night is often the bridge to the brightest tomorrow.'' - Jonathan Lockwood Huie

End, start, failure, sail, tomorrow. And so it begins.

Halloween

2010-11-02T03:56:00.000-04:00

She had been anticipating this day for months. She knew what she wanted to be, but over the past few weeks, some of her costume ideas didn't pan out. Thankfully her sister found time to collaborate the night before and these two creative girls found a way to realize Leah's vision.

Ahh, a cute bunny

A cute bunny doesn't win "Most Original Costume". No, our sweet child welcomed Halloween as Road Kill. Here she is with Zombie and Vampire Fairy:

Gore and gruesome carried over to my world as my colleagues and I carved this revolting pumpkin at a charity event on Friday:

We were awarded 3rd place.

Next year we will contract Evann and Leah to design costumes for us. My kids aren't going to be the only ones winning top prizes.

It's not even Halloween...

2010-10-24T23:36:00.001-04:00

...and someone had already drawn up her Christmas wish list

Here's one from 3 or 4 years ago

The kid is still waiting for a pet, but there is no doubt that she is cool.

Cross Country Champ

2010-10-12T21:57:00.008-04:00

Last night, we plotted strategy while cuddling in bed:

- Get in the lead pack as early as possible.

- Keep a comfortable pace.

- Be ready to sprint at the end to push past some of the other racers.

This morning she executed the plan to perfection.

Our little athlete took the lead from the start. For almost the entire 1600 metres, she had one girl keeping pace right behind. Sometimes 3 feet, sometimes 20. (Yes I'm mixing units of measure, but feet are what I visualize here).

The last stretch, the two girls were side by side. One would go ahead, the other would catch up. Leah said that she had never run faster in her life. Neck and neck the last 20 feet, Leah managed to thrust her shoulders over the finish line ahead of the other girl. All she could hear was "I see green" from the race judge. Leah had to look down at her, yes, green shirt to confirm that she indeed had won that hard fought contest.

What a thrill to hear her on the phone telling me she had won. What pride hearing her recount the race to us at dinner time. What a kid!

Post Script

Thanks to a mom of one of Leah's team mates for the following pictures from the meet:

At the starting line

In the lead

Thanksgiving 2010

2010-10-12T21:11:00.008-04:00

The usual wonderful weekend...Fun, Family, Friends and Food

Repeat

December 1984 - October 2010

2010-10-03T11:47:00.011-04:00

December 1984 - The first time I met most of these kids - the cousins.

I had no idea how much they would mean to me. They have enriched my life beyond my wildest dreams.

October 1st we celebrated Tanya's wedding. Here are the families, partners, friends and children of those cousins who joined in the celebration.

Championship Swag

2010-10-03T11:42:00.002-04:00

Chicago Highlights, Sept 21-24

2010-09-26T21:32:00.008-04:00

1. 2nd row seats behind the Visitor's bench

2. Buddy Guy threw out the first pitch AND led the crowd in singing "Take me out to the ball game" during the 7th inning stretch

3. The Cubs, a.k.a. The Loveable Losers, won!

Oh yeah, spectacular buildings and great restaurants too.

I'll be back!

Champs again!

2010-09-16T11:01:00.000-04:00

We played 5 games on the weekend to make it to the finals. The last game on Sunday night was a grueling 10 innings - dusk was descending on the park as the two teams slugged it out. While we were thrilled to win, we weren't sure if our bodies could take any more punishment.

On Monday we nursed our aching muscles and rested (as much as 12 working moms can rest). Game night Tuesday we started off slow as usual, but managed to win 15-10.

I had a hard time leaving the office early again yesterday for game 2. I expended way too much energy racing down to the train, changing in the car and getting to the park 15 minutes before game time. The second wind I found on Tuesday - with the help of advil and jelly beans - was nowhere to be found last night. My first at bat found me limping to first base on what was a good double. It was very frustrating to be so sore and pokey. Thankfully I played first base and was able to contribute there. By game's end, winning 11-2, it all seemed anticlimactic. All weekend, the crowd of spectators had made it clear that they did not want us to win. Thankfully, the opposing team was gracious in their congratulations as we shook hands at the end of the match.

The after-party helped tie it all together - we celebrated all the good things about our team. We worked hard, threw ourselves in front of the ball, played smart and kept our spirits up if we made a mistake. We gave our coach his 78 minutes of focus every game. We also had a lot of fun. Very few teams were able to do all that this season. Once again, I got way more out of playing ball than just playing ball.

Leah had her hands full this weekend

2010-08-30T09:50:00.000-04:00

Jumping on the trampoline with Lucas (Barbara's grandson)

Catching frogs

And cuddling with baby Tyler (born Aug 10)

She also faced the challenge of getting Megan and I to leap off the jumping rock. But we wimped out.

Next weekend. For sure Leah!

Leah the brave

Sewing? There's no sewing in baseball!

2010-08-23T10:03:00.005-04:00

I am going to have to reassess my theory that my ladies baseball league is the modern equivalent of a 19th century sewing bee.
Correspondence from the weekend:

Coach Charlie to Team:
Good afternoon ladies...

We are all well aware of Jenn's journey and the serious battle that she faces once again, beginning on Wednesday.
Our desire is to also stand with her... therefore I think it appropriate that the remainder of our season and the playoffs be dedicated to Jenn. Our new battle cry will be... Together. Strong.

I would like us to band together and show our support for Jenn...
On Monday, Bonnie will purchase the Canadian Cancer Society's official Together. Strong. blue silicone wristband for each of us to wear beginning with Wednesday's game.... and until Jenn beats this thing!
In addition, Bonnie will also be obtaining yellow ribbons. We would like to see these stitched on to the left sleeve of our jerseys.
See you at the park!
Charlie

Response from team:
Karen - Great idea!!! But does this involve me sewing something?? Will there be lessons???

Kelly - Great idea, thank you Charlie and Bonnie. I will bring my little sewing kit to the party after the game, I am sure watching some of us sew will provide us with endless hours of comic relief!!!
Love it!!

Tanya - And I am of course so gifted when it comes to all things crafty. In fact, spent 4 hours trying to sew on Cate's badges for Girl Guides only to find out they were iron on.

Kelly - ....between you and Karen I may need to get Eva to bring bandaids...

Brenda - I sewed Katrina's ballet shoe straps to the pillow case while sewing in front of the tv! Lucky there is a nurse on the team - we will look like human pin cushions! Can we get iron on-yellow ribbons? Or glue gun them? Safety pins? (The art of couture is dead)

Eva - SEWING?...... THERE'S NO SEWING IN BASEBALL.

Charlie - Okay, okay.... I'll bring the glue gun....(no pins allowed!)

Brenda - What about duct tape??!

And finally our Jen. Battling cancer again. A few days after announcing that the cancer had returned, she kept us company on the bench at our next game. Behind 6 runs in the 5th inning, she mocked us, "If you are trying to win this game for me you are doing a sh***y job!"
We won that game and the next 2 to win the season.

Team,
As I lie here in the emergency room here at the hospital.. You have brought tears to my eyes!!
Rami had to bring me here last night around 1am as the pain was beyond my ability to handle.
I have two appts (PICC line and PET Scan) today in these hospitals in prep for chemo to start on Wednesday morning.
I am so touched by your love, support and prayers - THANK YOU XOXO

Jen

Together. Strong.
Just don't make us sew.

She's finally "legal"

2010-08-22T10:25:00.000-04:00

If a successful party is measured by the time it ends (4:30 a.m.), by how many kids accepted my offer of a ride home at 2:30 & 3:00 (5), by the overflowing recycle bins full of empty beer cans, bottles and mickeys(2), and by the number of kids passed out on the couches and floors of the house (7), then I would have to declare Carson's 19th birthday bash a huge success.

Judging by the laughter and rehashing of events going on in the kitchen this morning, a good time was had by all.

The place is tidied up as best as could be. I'm just not sure what to do with this cute little 1" square baggy of what appears to be dried oregano I found while I was cleaning up. Maybe I will add it to the tomato sauce I had planned to make today.

A pit-stop to smell the roses

2010-08-04T14:08:00.002-04:00

I'm sitting in the backyard, just finished a lunch of cold chicken, cold pizza and a warm tomato picked from the garden. It is a steamy hot day. I threw some laundry on the clothesline this morning. The first wash was bone dry by the time I hung out the 2nd load.

We certainly do attract dirt at the cottage. My favourite cottage clothes are ones that I wouldn't be caught dead wearing down here. And I even wear the same thing 2 days in a row! (Hence why pix of me at the cottage are rarely posted!) Tho this week I did have this crazy Farrah Fawcett hair thing going on that I should have recorded for posterity - and mirth. I would spend 20 minutes every other morning blowdrying the frizz and kinks out of my hair and 20 minutes later my hair magically flipped back into this goofy retro 70's do!
But I digress. This post is to get my head out of the cottage and focus on my todo list.
Ev & mom out the door with my girlfriends and their daughters to Stratford. CHECK
Carson off to college to write a literacy exam. CHECK
Laundry done. CHECK
Last minute todo list from Tammy before I meet her downtown. CHECK

Tomorrow is the start of a family conference for the National Niemann-Pick Disease Foundation. It's the first time it will be held outside of the U.S. My role to date has been very small, but tonight I am throwing myself into all aspects of the conference. Tonight we will be assembling all the registration kits and bags, organizing the daycare, stocking the hospitality room, finalizing the media blitz and crossing our fingers that all goes well. Ev will be helping out too!

I will post about anything and everything of interest. (and hopefully find time to post some great pix from the cottage)

My rest time in the garden is over. Time to bring in the last of the laundry, invest 20 minutes on taming this hair, pack up the car, chase down the items on Tammy's list (what the heck are disposable chucks?), check in with the girls and meet Tammy downtown by 5.

This event has been in the planning stages for over a year. This time tomorrow Ev and I will be working at the registration desk greeting families and specialists from around the world. What a great experience this is going to be.

Cousin Brian

2010-07-27T21:16:00.030-04:00

He only journeys north every couple of years, but he leaves quite an impression.

I can hear him right now winding up the kids as they swing on the rope. Geez, now he is playing his guitar, barking out a song about crying (seems one of the little boys is inconsolable because he hurt Leah on the rope swing).

Brian can play the court jester, and has a way of getting the kids to learn how to laugh at themselves.

He thrilled the kids with a Walk the Plank trivia game on the dock yesterday, exchanged sarcasm with Ev whenever possible, strummed his guitar at the campfire last night and made a mouthwatering meal for us a few nights ago.

I enjoyed our morning blue sky chats about life, the universe, finding our passion, following our dreams - and making big $$$!

Brian celebrated his birthday yesterday and we are all very proud that he chose to commemorate it with us.

He is heading out tomorrow and we all hope that it isn't another 2 years til he is back.

PostScript
Around the campfire that evening, Brian taught Brandon and Liam how to play the guitar. It was very important that they wore the magic bandana during the lessons

The next day, Brian had us in stitches, recalling his favourite childhood cottage memory. It had something to do all the cousins bobbing in the water around the dock one evening, as Rob held them spellbound with a tale about Paul Poop.

Sensational Sunshine & Sunsets

2010-07-26T23:21:00.001-04:00

Summer vacation at the cottage.

So far, so good.

Happy Birthday Momma!

2010-07-23T13:23:00.009-04:00

On the occassion of her 75th birthday, I canvassed family and friends for some dirt on this woman.

I'm still searching.

"What more can I say about my Aunt Faye, to me she has the best of all traits, she is smart, funny, caring, a fabulous cook, sporty, master gardener, dedicated volunteer, organizer of family get togethers with an infectious laugh that makes you smile....She is our Martha Stewart only BETTER!! "

"Faye is one of those very special people on this earth. She's kind, loving, and has a great sense of humor. She's hard working, intelligent, and enthusiastic about life. She's the best friend and relative anyone could hope for. She's just about perfect! Of course, this is going to go to her head but she deserves it. How lucky you are to have her for a mother and how lucky I am to have her for a friend and sister-in-law."

"Your mom is my favourite person in the whole world. She is the sweetest , kindest person I know. She is always smiling and good natured."

"Every time I hear her name I smile. All my life my mother has always said, "Oh, I LOVE Faye. She is such a kind, sweet person." I have to agree. As a kid you react more to the feeling a person gives you more than anything else. Although I can't really remember specific conversations with Faye, I definitely remember the way she made me feel when I was with her. The best way I can describe it is warmth. You feel warm and safe and appreciated and totally unjudged in her presence."

Seems that everyone feels the way I do about this wonderful woman. (Despite the fact that she made a pact to celebrate her 75th with Carson by getting tattoos! So far I think that she is bluffing.)

Oh well, I have a few months to dig up something on my perfect brothers...

Day 4 - Last day at Navarre Beach

2010-07-19T11:12:00.027-04:00

Saturday July 10

7:30 a.m.
A dozen or so of us milling around the kitchen. 2nd pot of coffee brewing. The last bit of detritus from the party the night before had been swept away by the early risers. Half of the household was packing up and preparing to leave. That allowed me to have some one-on-one time with John and Shelley. Learned a bit about their house in Georgia - right beside brother Jorge. John's next career with a large defence contractor. The townhouse the girls will share as they attend a Florida university together. Possible plans to make it up to Ontario in August. A lesson about the gun that was presented to John at the retirement ceremony. More details about the extraordinary adventures he and Shelley have had the past two decades.

My brief window of catch-up time closed as John was surrounded by family members. John's youngest brother Michael has a flair for stand up comedy and made a hilarious presentation in honour of John's new teaching career. Prop after prop was pulled out of a paper bag and within minutes (and amidst roars of laughter) John had everything he needed to assume the role of revered professor:

Not to be outdone by the parents, the 2 daughters and niece and nephew of Michael and Caroline marched us upstairs to watch a dance routine for John.

It didn't take long for everyone to get on the dance floor. It was if we had to make up for the lack of dancing at the party the night before.

Matt and Kyle met their matches on the dance floor - Carmen and her mom Leila wowed all of us (but especially the young men) with their moves.

We loved all the kids, but it was this little one who stole our hearts:

Hours past schedule, several of the families made their tearful goodbyes. Loaded into their vehicles, they were given a push out of the driveway by the remaining family members. This ritual was repeated throughout the weekend. When mom and the aunties left the house Saturday night, John's parents made them drive up to the house - they were parked in the lot across the street - in order to officially push them on their way.

An insider's view from our turn on Sunday morning:

Back to Saturday afternoon: Cindy and I headed to the beach for a swim then followed up on our promise to rent scooters. We drove from Navarre Beach to Pensacola Beach - about a half an hour. Lots of protected shores where humans were not allowed to tread. The white sand looked like snow. The sign reads "Dune Restoration. Please Keep Off".

It was another steaming hot day. We cooled off at the beach and caught the tail end of the Blue Angels air show.

We would have liked to stop for a snack and drink somewhere before returning home, but the skies were turning dark and we could see lightning to the east. Traffic was heavy on the way back - and I'm sure the motorists didn't appreciate following two gutless scooters. For once Cindy and I drove the speed limit.

Our moms were at the house and we spent an enjoyable evening with the rest of the family. Jorge made his famous pork ribs with Mojo sauce. I now have the recipe: Sour orange, Garlic - a lot, Onion - a lot, Oregano, Cilantro, Salt, Dry wine ( little). Put in blender and taste until it's perfect.

(I also have a bottle of Mojo sauce that I bought from Publix. Jorge says that it is a good substitute for the real thing.)

Can't remember if it was before or after dinner when Kim, Mary, mom and I took a last walk on the beach (last for me, first for the others).

Sometime in the evening Carmen (John's mom) cornered me and offered to do my horoscope - she seems to think that I have a lot of things on my mind right now... I suppose some guidance from the stars is better than what I have been working with lately! Armed with my birth date, she also needed to know my time of birth. My memory being what it is, I could not provide her with that info. Lucky for me that mom was right beside me - who better to ask? Not surprising, mom's memory being what it is, she couldn't remember either! That made for a good laugh. I could not take offense as I cannot recall the exact time - or even time of day - when my girls were born.

That in a nutshell was what those 4 days in Florida were all about - laughter, love, caring, celebrating and not taking ourselves too seriously. It may not have been my dream trip to Provence, but it provided some well-needed mojo for my soul.

Day 3 - Hurlbert Field

2010-07-15T16:35:00.002-04:00

Friday July 9, 2010

John's retirement party was as touching and patriotic as I had imagined.

We were up and out of the house by 7:20 a.m. The wall of heat that greeted us also fogged up our cameras. But the boys managed to get some nice shots of Kim, Cindy and I on the driveway.

I'm not glowing - that's condensation on the camera lens. My hair was considerably bigger and wilder 4 hours later.

We assembled in an air-conditioned room in the chapel prior to the ceremony. Despite the institutional background, everyone began to snap group shots. I would have preferred a better setting, but a cool climate won out over an aesthetically pleasing backdrop.

Here's John with his nieces and nephews:

And here is the rest of the family capturing that moment:

In anticipation of sitting in the heat at the ceremony, Kim splurged on fans for all the ladies:

I ventured outside to watch the preparations. The crowds were gathering and the uniforms were inspected:

John's grandmother Leila had her very own escort and vehicle to take her to the ceremony:

As we stood, and many saluted, John and his retiring officer were led by the colour guard to the podium

We remained standing for the national anthem and the Invocation. Next were remarks by John's former commanding officer. I had heard that Tommy was quite a character and he lived up to his reputation. As he made his opening remarks, he reached into the podium and pulled out a can of diet coke and an unusual container. It was a large cup made from one of John's original prosthesis. I found out later that John "tricked it out" and presented it to Tommy in recognition of the support provided to get John back into service following his accident.

Following Tommy's funny and touching speech, he presented to John the Award of the Defence Superior Service Medal. We found out later that this medal is one of the highest award that can be bestowed upon members of the United States military by the Secretary of Defense.

I cannot do justice to John's speech. He acknowledged the many people who supported him throughout his career. I was in awe of the people he described - the doctor who saved his life in Nicaragua; the colleague who, after finishing his 2 hour plus marathon run, ran back to find John and spend the next 4 hours running with and encouraging John (with a stress fracture in his good leg) to finish the race: the pilot who crash landed a plane in the jungle to rescue John after his accident; the people who believed in John before, during and after his accident. John's tribute to his family was equally touching and throughout his speech, John kept his composure. There would be no tears shed by him during this formal ceremony. That said, John (and Kyle, or so he says) were the only ones with dry eyes during the ceremony.

We all blubbered some more when, after presenting bouquets to his wife, daughters, mom, aunt, grand-mother and mom-in-law, John handed his son a wooden box. Jake is just a bit older than Leah, and like Leah, the youngest in that family. John recognized that Jake missed out on a lot of time together while John held higher and more demanding responsibilities and assignments that took him all over the world. My understanding is that Jake learned to accept this life. Imagine how Jake felt when he opened the box that his dad presented to him. It was an original coin from John's favourite squadron, and the following inscribed in the box:

Jake

It is time to make up for lost time.

The adventure begins.

Love

Your Dad

We finally had to laugh through all the tears.

The formal ceremony over, we moved inside for the informal awards and speeches. Both John and Shelley were recognized by the Department of Defense for service to their country.

We met many of John's former colleagues. All of them raved about John, his leadership and his dedication to family and country. We knew John was special, but until then, we had no idea how special.

Before we headed back to beach house, the family was invited to get a closer look at the helicopters that John had flown. I'm surprised my hair fit into the cargo bay:

Speeches and tours over, it was party time!

Day 2 - Navarre Beach

2010-07-08T23:53:00.004-04:00

Yawn
Between the snorer and the kids partying on the deck on the other side of my wall, sleep was fleeting. Wide awake at 5 - our 6, but was able to doze. Puttered online then went downstairs to forage for breakfast. John's sister Cuqui (Cookie) and her family were up.

Her brother Jorge, and husband Rich were heading out for a jog. I poured myself a coffee and stewed about packing the wrong camera battery charger. My mood improved significantly when I found a squeeze bottle of Welch's grape jelly. I love America! I squeezed the jelly onto 2 slices of whole grain bread. Battery-shmattery. I was in jam sandwich heaven.
Then Cuqui spoiled it all by announcing that she was heading to the beach to lead a mini boot camp. Would I care to join them? Not really, but really, why not?

By 7:15 we had crossed the street to the beach and were doing lunges and jumping jacks in the sand. The day was shaping up to be heavenly. And it was.

By lunch time I had purchased a battery charger and spent a fun time at Walmart with Kim and her son Matt.

Matt is burnt to a crisp, courtesy of 2 hours of jet skiing without sunscreen.

Did I mention that he is a redhead? It hurts to look at his bright red skin. Matt was in so much pain that he used a motorized scooter/buggy to shop. We found out that a young kid in scooter is a chick magnet! Matt was stopped at least a half dozen times by women sympathizing with him about his burns.

People were in and out of the house all day doing shopping, getting hair and nails done and taking trips to the beach. I passed on a shoe shopping spree in favor of joining the young ones for a swim. The water was surprisingly warm. I walked along the beach for an hour before swimming. I can never get enough of watching the persistent waves make their way to shore. As I stood in the water, with the waves splashing my legs, I made a promise to myself to spend an extended vacation, or a short-term move to a home by the sea.

My bucket list started, I returned to the beach house and yakked with mom and aunties on the balcony overlooking the beach. We were on a strict schedule that afternoon - everyone had to be at the air force base at 4:00 to get registered for the next day's ceremony. I counted 8 cars in the lot. That done, we drove further east to have dinner at a Chinese food buffet. I didn't count us all there but I estimate that there were 34 of us.

Some more shopping on our way home, then entertainment by one of John's nephews. He is a - well, not a juggler - though he does do something called contact juggling that's fun to watch. Johnny twirled fire sticks for us tonight. Lots of oohs and ahhs and singing of "Hot, hot, hot".

Mom and the aunties made their goodbyes and I decided to call it a night. John's retirement ceremony is tomorrow morning at 9:00 am. Once again, we have our marching orders - everyone out of the house by 7:30. Kim, Cindy and I have to leave a bit earlier as we have to pick up flowers on the way. We are all concerned about how we will survive the outdoor ceremony, but we know that a little heat and humidity for an hour is a small price to pay to pay our respects to our one-legged military hero.

I have no idea what to expect, but know that my camera and Kleenex will be working overtime.

Navarre Beach: Day 1

2010-07-07T23:02:00.006-04:00

I've been sitting in front of this empty screen for the past ten minutes trying to figure out how to capture this day without turning it into another big diary entry.

Highlights (not to be confused with highbrow):
- the constant bickering and teasing between Kim and Cindy with the occasional barbs thrown in by Kyle
- Kim's brilliant execution of a car rental deal involving a same-sex partner .... Oooh this one will take too long to explain
- the delight at buying an 18 pack and a 12 pack of beer for $30!!!!!! Cold! And the good stuff!
- the location of our beach castle
- touring the beach castle

- greeting mom and the aunties as they arrived an hour after us (they drove down)

- finally meeting John's parents, siblings and kids (I'm already scheming to kidnap John's sweet 15 year old niece Mackenzie and bring her home with me for the summer - like I need more teenage girls at home)

- fine dining with Kim, mom and aunties Mary and Pat at the $5.00 "all you can eat" buffet at KFC. I loved the deep fried okra and chicken livers.

The only mis-step was allowing the aunties wash their hands before leaving KFC. We just missed the fly-by of 2 helicopters right above the beach house in John's honour. And we didn't get to play beach volleyball under the lights. But we will try again tomorrow.

Time to dig out my earplugs and try to get some sleep. I'm anticipating an eventful night. Kim and Cindy's sons are on the balcony outside our room polishing off the beer. And I'm
sharing a room with my crazy cousins. One of whom has a reputation as a loud snorer.

There are 24 of us sleeping at the beach house tonight. A few more family members will be arriving in the morning. As soon as I stepped into this place and met everyone, I longed to find a way to get the girls on a plane to join us. But hockey camp, summer school and babysitting keep them at home. I expect that there will be many more opportunities like this one. Within a half hour of everyone arriving this evening, John's mom Carmen was inviting us to spend Thanksgiving with John and Shelley in Arizona.